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Round-Robin Critique

Joe Lesko captainNov '14
Let's try this method as a way of getting more useful feedback on shows.

How it works...

1) Reply to the topic immediately above you, giving the following feedback:

  •   One thing you like about the show, or something about it that shows promise.
  •   One thing that can be improved (2+ sentences). Be specific. Give actionable advice. Explain the reasoning behind your advice. Use page up/down to refer to specific set numbers.

2) Post a link to a Work in Progress OR your most recently published show. Optionally, let us know what specific part you want feedback on.

Quality is important here! The more thought you put into your feedback, the more likely you will receive the same. I recommend waiting to reply until you see a show that you think you can give solid advice about.

You can submit you show a second time (maximum: two times) as long as you give feedback to a different show.

To start off, I'll give feedback for this show currently on the front page
What works:
Great job for your first show! Your forms have a lot of variety, which is good start.

What you can improve:
In the first few sets especially, there are times where some of the marchers are either stationary or don't move very far.

To get a more even flow, keep all of your marchers moving every set. Think of it this way: if any of your marchers would be bored marching a set, your viewers will be, too.

I would also recommend trying a theme next time, so you have more ideas to work with.

My Show:

Actually, this is LizziP's show, to get us started.
jaarmbr1 Nov '14
I'll go! First off, I liked it! I get what you were trying to portray, and I think you did a good job of showing us the creepy, dark forest. The handling of the soloist in the beginning was also quite good.

One thing to remember is that as a general rule, once the intro material is over, everyone should be busy at all times, whether it's moving, playing, or a combination of the two. There were several times when sections would stand either backfield or with their horns down, not moving. This can be boring, both to march and to watch, because nobody wants to be doing nothing. On a related note, the guard is in the intro sequence, and then disappears for the remainder of the show. I kept waiting for them to come back (maybe after a flag change) but they didn't. Other than that, I liked the show! Nice work!

My Show:

The second half of my Spin Cycle sync. (Part 1 is on my profile if you're interested). General critique would be helpful, but I'm especially looking for help between sets 14-18 (which are unfinished). Ideas on how to transition would be helpful. Thanks!
kamoro Nov '14
You have good staging, you kept the drumline in the back near the 50, which is good, and you got the guard involved with the hornline.

Going into set 18, I'd just have the snareline compress to their new position. If you need more effect, you could take two sets and have every two snares do a 180 degree rotation. I don't think there's a good way to get the tubas to the back of the block. I'd either change their drill in the sets before to get them closer, or put them in the middle or front of the block. If you do take two sets, you could have the baris go into two vertical lines in the first set, and then they have a lot of options to get to the block from there in the second set.

I'd also put in more spinning, since the show is spin cycle.

My show:
LKendrick captainNov '14
- I really enjoy the feasibility you write with, you tend to find a very nice balance between what is feasible and stuff that is fun to watch, I always enjoy that about your shows! Your shows are also very clean, spacing, design, and pacing wise. Excellent example of a synced show here. Very realistic staging in addition to the realistic drill.

- If there's one thing that caught my eye to watch for, now this is getting nitpicky considering how clean your work is, there's a few transitions that cut it kinda close, not really something I'd subtract for, but something I noticed. Using these two shows for set references:

- Sets 3 to 4 in part 1 some contras and other brass cut kinda close to each other.
- Sets 4 to 5 brass players in the upper left part of the brass forms collide.

That's about it on the other side of things, not much to critique, very clean work. Just checking transitions and adjusting slightly and trading sets to avoid a collision here or there will make your shows flawless.

2) Post a link to a Work in Progress OR your most recently published show. Optionally, let us know what specific part you want feedback on.

Quality is important here! The more thought you put into your feedback, the more likely you will receive the same. I recommend waiting to reply until you see a show that you think you can give solid advice about..

My most recent show, nothing specific I'm looking for, just have at it! You won't hurt my feelings, I promise.
royalDM Nov '14
I loved the impact of the show and the speed and gave me the feel of rioting

One thig I would change is how towards the end the guard gets kinda left behind. For example when they get into the circle they're kinda just left on the right side of the field and in the ending set there's that empty space in the top left side of the field I feel as if guard or drumlins could go I feel like when you have such an Imp acting show you should use more of the field.

The one problem I have with my show is that I did so much and tested millions of drill ideas and I got a 6 on this show. I am wanting the whole show to be critiqued and tell me what I could change as a drill writer
Los Valientes Dec '14
I enjoy the feasibility of this show as well. There wasn't much to crtique seeing that it was quite clean and didn't have any major errors. I'd say the reason it didn't quite make it to a 7 because it didn't have a 'wow-factor'.

Wow-factors are difficult to generate with less members, so my best advice is..

- To keep the audience engaged and entertained is to try to avoid scatters because it appears very bland. Experiment with quick splits, rotations etc.

Such as this show-

-When the battery moves across the floor I'd have them do more instead of just shifting them. Maybe like splits or rotations.
-Also, the guard seems a bit static. I'd try to add more variety in drill.

Otherwise great job in feasibility!

My Show-
Starfruit1 Dec '14
I really enjoyed the development of your transitions in this show and the improvement it displayed from your previous shows--it's definitely one of your best to this day.

One thing that seemed a bit awkward in your show was your integration of the guard in the "6" in set 10. It felt strange because the yellow flags acted like the hornline marchers with close intervals while the majority of the guard was spread out towards the bottom. My best advice for that would to try to avoid those instances where you have those few oddballs that stick out.

The only other thing that seemed very odd to me was your transition into the block in set 25. There were a whole bunch of collisions in there that stood out against your otherwise very clean show. I would just watch out for those type of collisions when previewing your work, as the rest of your show proves you know how to avoid/fix them :)

My show:
Please be as brutal as you would like! I've wanted some constructive feedback for this show for a while now.
KeenanBurton Dec '14
Hey, Starfruit!

I would like to start off by saying that this is one of my favorite shows on MML; fantastic job on it. What I enjoy most about this show is twofold: you have a clear direction in mind thematically and the flow from one hold to next is really well thought out and always has direction and the scope of the show in mind.

There are, of course, always a few things that can be improved. The biggest one for me would be integration of the guard and drumline into the winds. The wind drill is fantastic and in comparison, the rest of the drill leaves something to be desired. Apart from the momentary mixing of the rifles (which was very well done), the guard basically clings to the periphery of the form throughout the show. Don't be afraid to get them more involved! By experimenting a bit with this in the future, I'm sure that you'll surprise yourself with the outcome. I'm a big fan of the flag transition that you used in sets 21-24, great job. You do a better job with the drums than the guard, particularly in the beginning of the show with the snares, though for they most part they just seem to be added on to the winds as an afterthought and they definitely missing the creativity and flow that is present in the winds' drill.

I hope that these comments were helpful in some way, I really enjoyed this show!

My WIP is a tribute to the 2014 Blue Stars' production, Where the Heart Is:

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