Funny, Clean Jokes

How about a thread to put a funny, clean unoffensive jokes. Please only 2 posts per person per day so it isn't overwhelmed.

Here is this to start it off with.

Why can't dogs use computers? Because he can’t stick his head out of Windows!

What do you call fake spaghetti? An imPASTA!

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Get in the car.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey." The horse says, "Sure."

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery.

What animal do you never play a card game with?

A Cheetah :3

Where does a Pharaoh go for back problems?

The CAIROpractor.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

A horse walks into a bar. The horseback rider got mad because the horse was supposed to jump.

A pony walks into a bar and coughs,
"Hey, COUGH. Gimme a COUGH a rootbeer COUGH.
The bartender serves him and says, "What's with your voice?"
The pony says, "Nothing, I'm just a little hoarse."

Where do you go to learn to make ice cream?

Sundae school!

A giraffe walks into a bar and lays down.
A little while later the bartender goes "Hey what's the lyin' on the floor"
And someone says "That's no lion that's a giraffe!"

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I don't know. Can we leave the chicken alone? Why does everyone keep questioning its motives? How would YOU like it if people constantly asked why YOU were crossing the road? Stop being so nosy!

A man walked into a bar. He said "ouch". He then had a huge bump on his head for the next few months. General theme here? Don't walk into a bar.

E-flat walks into a bar and the bartender says, sorry, we don't serve minors

What kind of license does a refrigerator have?

A license to chill.

Whats the most painful type of notation?

Stablature.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, “You can come in, but don’t start anything!”

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it was confused by it's urban environment.

also, Biscotti, I think you mean " a C, an Eb, and a G walk into a bar. The bartender says sorry we don't serve minors."

What's red and looks like blue paint?

Red paint.

A man walks into a hospital freezer and sees a doctor blowing on a kidney and asks, "What are you doing?"
The doctor answers him, "Playing the Organ."

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, "For you, no charge".

What was Beethoven's favorite fruit?

BA - NA - NA - NAAAAA!

Why was the mathematician late for his appointment?

He took the Rhombus!

What's black, white, and "red" all over?

A bleeding zebra. ( not what you expected, huh )

(Only a true music nerd will get this)

Mozart: Hey Beethoven, I heard your symphony last night, I wrote something like it once; WHEN I WAS FIVE!